My first impression of Quiet was that it seemed much like many management books I have read and at one time (when I had a director who enforced a “management book club”) considered the bane of my existence. Hallmarks of many of these books are to base broad conclusions on a few examples and to endlessly repeat the same information. Writer and lecturer Susan Cain’s focus on business and examples of individual people’s experiences made me fear this was yet another such book, so I continued only because it was recommended by someone I trust. However, I was pleasantly surprised, for Cain’s scope broadens as the book continues, and the book shows plenty of familiarity with studies and theories that support her positions.
Cain’s initial observations are about how Western, particularly American, society and business reward extroverted behavior and consider introverted behavior a fault. Since I am myself an introvert, I was happy to read her extensive support for the position that these attitudes can be harmful for business and other endeavors and are based on false assumptions that extroverts are smarter than introverts.
Just to go off on a personal tangent, one of Cain’s points—that volubility is often mistaken for intelligence—was demonstrated to me years ago when I worked with a loud, aggressive woman. One day after a coworker and I had been sledgehammered into submission for some minutes, the coworker remarked that she was annoying but smart. I rejoined, “Did you listen to her? What she said didn’t make any sense!” The coworker had not noticed, seemingly bowled over by the woman’s verbosity.
Cain’s book is full of examples of the qualities of introverts that should be more valued. She gives advice for introverts who want to appear more extroverted, both things people can do and thoughts about how they can evaluate whether that approach is best for them. She also provides suggestions for managers who are interested in creating a workplace that is effective for both extroverts and introverts. She talks about the challenges of Asian students, who tend to be more introverted, in American society. Especially valuable are her suggestions for parents and other adults in dealing with and helping introverted children.
Overall, I find the book to provide perceptive observations and practical suggestions for dealing with work and social life as an introvert, as well as providing insights about the unrecognized value of introverts in our society.
What? Me Read? 
I’ve had this one on my shelf for a few months now and I am really hoping to finally get to it in February. I was definitely one of those Asian students who were faulted by teachers and professors for being too quiet, that is, when they actually noticed that I existed. It was always after reading a paper that I’d written that they finally paid attention to me. One professor even expressed surprise at how much I had to say. It was very discouraging for me to see professors even in grad school praising the students who took up the most air time, those who said a lot about nothing. Anyway, sorry to go off on my own tangent. I look forward to the book. I could use some pointers on better managing my introversion, because while I’m learning to embrace it, I know that it isn’t always good either (like my tendency to get too comfortable in my own bubble).
I think I lie somewhere in the middle, but my tendencies are toward introversion. I didn’t ever have any problem speaking up in class when I knew something, but I agree that especially in graduate school there were people who were just trying to impress the professors, and that they usually fell for it. I am horribly shy at parties or when I have to stand up in front of people, except when I’m teaching. I have figured out that I have confidence when I know about things and otherwise would like to avoid the limelight. I come from a family of extroverts, though, so it is sometimes very difficult. I feel your pain.
That makes sense and sounds healthy. It’s interesting how you can be the introvert in a family of extroverts. (My son is so extroverted.) I’ve flipped flopped and this is a big part of the struggles behind my post about my “midlife crisis” yesterday though I didn’t explore this angle. I went through a long period where I was pretty extroverted and actually enjoyed public speaking and really being out there…now I feel like I’ve retreated into a cocoon and somehow I don’t like it, because I feel as though I prefer the old me.
That sounds like there could be more going on than you think.
Kay, I’m just like you, except I also have selective mutism — I literally *can’t* speak when I’m too anxious (in class , usually — but teaching has always been fine.). I’m looking forward to reading this book!
If I was anxious, I doubt if I would speak out, but I think you’re trying to say something different. That’s interesting. I never heard of selective mutism. How frustrating it must be!
Incredibly frustrating. I knew the answers (or had something to contribute) almost all the time, but I could not force the words out of my mouth. Giving presentations was purgatory — my hands would shake so hard I could barely read my notes.
Oh, gosh, that sounds horrible. I am able to speak if I know what I’m talking about. My worst time was when I was asked to speak at a friend’s memorial service. Luckily, I had written a story about him, so I read that. If I had had to speak with that, I couldn’t have. My hands and voice were shaking nonetheless.
One tactic I always found worked well for me in class was to always volunteer to answer questions that I knew the answer to. Then the instructor never asked me anything when I didn’t know the answer. Being asked when you don’t know can really make you nervous. And you’re not usually so nervous if you know.
That is a good tactic I’ve suggested to my own students who have general or social anxiety — but I myself couldn’t speak even when I knew the answers.
I, too, was skeptical of this book–mostly because of the semi-scammy sounding title and its supposed premise that introversion is a “skill” that can be capitalized upon. But as an introvert, I suppose it’s nice to see people coming to our collective defense.
On another note, 3 years of my childhood were spent in Japan. I wonder if that influenced my introversion? Their society seems to value careful thought and expression more than ours does.
Yes, she makes a point of writing about the different Asian view.
Great review. I checked this book out at the library and read the first few chapters, but didn’t finish it before it was due back. I enjoyed many of the points she made, but found Anneli Rufus’ PARTY OF ONE much more interesting. The fact that you found the second half of the book more insightful makes me want to give it another try!
Hmm, maybe I’ll check out Rufus’ book. Thanks!
This is the second blog I have read today that has just finished a book about introverts. As a newlywed, I have discovered that I am an introvert as I find myself needing to schedule alone space, which is something I never had a problem with when I lived alone for 5 years. I am also part of faith community, which is very extrovert-oriented. So in an effort to understand myself better, balance my life, and explain my introverted needs to my husband, I ordered a book on introverts that was recommended to me by my pastor. It was this book that you just read, but for some reason I accidentally ordered “Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture”. But it has been a good mistake as I am enjoying learning more about introverts functioning within a church setting. I was reminded by your review that I still need to order that “Quiet” book! And based on your review, I could learn a lot of insight from it. Thanks!
I hope it is helpful. Thanks for your comment!